Revelations

Did you ever have that moment when you knew what you want to do?

I have. A few times. Vague ones most of the time like, "I want to involve this in my life somehow", even if it's just a hobby. I have had some that were like, well, these are things I can do, so I may as well do that. It's something that could make me happy.Then I realize, it's not feasible. Because of people. Some are flights of fancy. They're still there, though.

Recently I had one that was a little bigger. A little different. It's a possibility that could combine almost all of the things I like and care about. But it's a massive stretch of my abilities (if they're even good enough) and it's one of the more impractical ideas I've had. People have made it work. People have succeeded doing it, and I might be able to do so, as well. It will take a ton of effort. I really want to do it, like really, but I am filled with fear. Pure anxiety at even the chance of it, because I expect failure. I recently had an opportunity that gave me an inkling of a chance to take steps towards it. 

Now I'm just holding my breath. Hoping for it, and really hoping that this isn't just another wasted wish.