20 June, 2009

You MUST have a baby to fill your big HOUSE!

No, no, I must have more STUFF.

A major pet peeve as one of the new generation of IDonWannaBabies clan members is the constant insistence that a newly married/shortly married person must absolutely right now reproduce. There are many problems with this constant demand, whether it be from my own parents or from complete strangers, not the least of which is that it's not their business.

I recently bought a house with my husband of 3 years. It's huge. It has technically-four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and is spectacularly old. We only use one of the bedrooms as a bedroom. However, I repeatedly get demands about how I will fill this house without baybeez.

I never truly know how to respond to this question, because to me, the logical answer is "Stuff.", but this doesn't sit well with most people. After all, it's shallow, materialistic and selfish to want to buy things and have things that you want without first wasting away hundreds of thousands of dollars on the livelihood of another human being who may or may not take the time to make sure you don't end up in a shitty nursing home.

I like things. Things may break, but nice expensive things fill my house with entertainment and fun. I also have two cats and an incredibly large dog who probably wouldn't do very well with losing multiple dozens of square feet of his play space.

I am not without love for family - in fact, I spend as much time with my family as I can manage, living an hour and ten minutes away and working forty hours a week - but there are sincerely some people who should not have children, and while I think that many of those people have already had them, I am one of those who hasn't yet. I'd like to keep it that way.

I hate having to explain over and over again that it is my choice not to have children because my health is not the best, my husband's health is not perfect, we both work, we both go to school, and frankly, I don't like babies, but it seems that there is no way around it. Deep down, beyond all of the other reasons, I'm terrified of pregnancy to the point that it gives me nightmares, but that just results in laughing and mocking from women who have had two-to-four children and lived to tell the incredibly horrifying tales.

I made the decision recently to pursue tubal litigation - and shockingly, I was approved, even at my age - and it surprised many people, but sent many more people on a campaign to win me over to the world of babies. Why is it so important to other people that I reproduce, even when my child would suffer needlessly, and it could endanger my own life?

They will try, even after I have my surgery, but here is the problem: I can't bring myself to see why I should want a child in a world like this, or in any world since humans existed. They can try all they want, but four-bedroom house or no, I can't see what motivation I should have to bring a child doomed to hospital visits into a world where you can't even trust your neighbor, let alone a stranger.

To those who insist upon me having a baby, you have 48 days to change my mind. Good luck!


  1. My in-laws (James's family, in other words) still ask every once in a while if I'm pregnant yet, even though James and I have told them, repeatedly, that this will never happen.

    BOOKS ARE GRANDKIDS TOO! *shoves lots of literary magazines at them*

  2. Stupid people are filling the US! Smart people need to start pumping out babies to increase our gene-pool! Go against intuition and impregnate!