26 April, 2010

I've got the need...and work validation

I just want to write so much right now.

I think it's because I want to escape.

I'm reading Madeline L'Engle's A House Like a Lotus and thus far, it is her ONLY work that I'm having trouble with it. I'm having difficulty really getting through it because it's got a few things that I don't like dealing with in fiction OR in non-fiction, and it's stressing me. I want to finish it, but it's taking forever. I think I'm going to pick up some other books to read between so maybe I can pace it out more, but still read actively. I feel like I'm behind.

School drags me down so much. I used to love school and love learning when I was a kid, but now, it feels like an obligation and I'm soon to be studying business stuff that I could not care less for, and it's such a struggle. I hate feeling like I must learn this, I must demonstrate understanding. It makes me hate my teachers, it makes me hate my school and the fact that I have to have a degree to survive in today's society - knowing how to do my job isn't enough, I have to spend years of my time doing classes that may barely impact my ability to do my job.

I know like, no one really reads this, but I figure I'll pose the question anyway:

When you start having to study things in order to do work you already do, or validate your work, do you start to get frustrated with your job? Do you feel as though the need to validate your job or tell people that you are doing a good job, it means that you must not really be doing a good job?

Do you go through periods where you feel like you're just pushing yourself to go to work?
I know that I have the negative of not really having a career path, of having to do a job to pay bills and not really be enjoying my work (I like some of the people, and I like accomplishing things, so I do try to be dedicated to it), and so do plenty of other people, but I wonder if people who love their work and wanted to do their work feel the same.


  1. I feel the need to have the degree so other people think I can do my job. People think you can't do your job w/o the degree even if they aren't related at all. I want higher education as more proof that I'm not dumb.
    I feel like women have to prove themselves more.
    There are lots of times I don't even think a degree is needed for things I do and other times it's a necessity. It depends on what my focus the day or week if I'm all upset about it. I have not started studying to do anything I already do so I can't answer that.
    I do feel like I have to reiterate to people what I did and that it's a good job or nobody realizes. I can also not do my work and not tell people and I think nobody would ever know but I'm not that type of person. I also keep other people in line and make sure they do what they should and make sure nothing falls through the cracks. I know what has to be done and find ways to get it done. Twice I have told others to do things or help in a certain way and said it had to be done even though it wasn't done before and then what do you know they got awards for that (monetary in nature and a plaque/certificate)

  2. Exactly. Having to have a degree to make people think you can do your job is frustrating, especially when you're already doing it.
    I do think women have to prove themselves more, definitely, and moreso in men's professions.
    When I tell people what rules are or something and they just repeatedly question me, it feels like they're implying I'm stupid or making shit up. It angers me and makes me feel marginalized.
    I wonder what would happen if I didn't do my job?